I Never Even Met Him
by MeredithBrody
Summary: James is killed in New Orleans, leaving a heartbroken Brody to talk about him. (minor character death)


**So, this song has now been to blame for a total of 20 deaths across four fandoms. The song is "I Hope You Meet Again" by The Saw Doctors. I was casually listening to my iPod and thinking about what to write for tonight's "Writer's Sprint" over on Facebook... and it came on. The title is also from the song. Both Icka and Ryann have come to the conclusion that I should not be left to write unsupervised. They are probably right. Anyway. Minor character death, and a whole lot of Meredith Brody crying. Please read and review.  
Shin xx**

* * *

 _ **You don't say how you love him  
** **But it shows in every word  
When he played his favourite music  
Was the best you ever heard**_

* * *

Meredith Brody didn't know how long she'd been down here now. She'd gotten the call an hour ago telling her that James had been killed. Loretta had recognised him from numerous mornings she'd come over and James had stayed the night. Five minutes later she'd gotten the call from James' editor, telling her the same thing. She'd told Pride she needed to leave and ran out of the office. She'd been here ever since. Just sat holding James' hand, occasionally telling him the things that she'd never said. "Tell me about him?" She heard a familiar voice behind her, and she debated between annoyance and relief.

"How did you know I was here, Pride?" Annoyance won out at first. She just didn't want to admit that maybe right this moment she needed somebody here to talk to her. How he'd known where she was was another matter.

"Loretta." He answered, and she just scoffed a little and shook her head. No doubt the minute she'd walked out of autopsy she'd called Pride. They all knew her well enough by now. She'd been here almost two years.

"I should have guessed." She really should have. She loved Loretta, and the rest of her team here, but they could be ridiculously nosy. She really didn't want to have to talk to anyone right now, even someone as well meaning as Pride.

"Tell me about him?" He reiterated his first question, and she wondered what he wanted to know. What James had known about NCIS. Was there an unfinished story about their team somewhere. She just didn't know, and she felt suspicious of everyone right now.

"What do you want to know?" Brody asked, thinking that asking something directly was going to work better than her just randomly guessing at what he meant. There were things she wasn't going to talk about, but maybe talking in general might help. She didn't remember what happened after Emily died, not anymore.

"Merri." Pride replied, and the way he dragged her chosen nickname out told her that he was concerned about her. He never used that in a professional setting, rarely in a personal one. This was the first time she could remember.

"He was..." She trailed off, taking the time to think for a minute. Telling anyone about James was hard, and she always felt the need to fill in the good things about him, and ignore the fact that the majority of people hated him. She never had, and really right now she just loved him. "He was an asshole, but I loved him anyway." She laughed a little, only just realising that she was crying. She didn't remember the last time she had cried.

"Really?" Pride asked, clearly not sure why she loved him if he was an asshole. It was hard to explain, because she couldn't explain the love she and James had shared. He had truly cared for her, and had just always wanted the best for her.

She smiled as she thought about James. About the things that had made him different, and why she'd fallen in love with him. She felt the tears coming much faster now, but she no longer cared. James deserved these tears. "He wasn't the type of guy who did chocolates and flowers. But I wasn't never really interested in that. He got me, and I got him." Brody had always needed that. Someone other than Emily who just got her. It was so rare, but so great.

"How long were you together?" Pride asked, and she had to mentally count. It had been a long time, she remembered that. She could still remember the days, the good memories and the bad that came along with those dates. The BBC party her cousin had snuck her into where she met James, the day he had left for Fallujah.

"The first time, almost five years." She had so many good memories, and a few bad ones, from that time, but she wouldn't change them at all. Even them splitting up was for the best. But now she wished she had the intervening years. She wished she could have spent more time with him. "Then we've been secretly back together since he arrived in New Orleans."

"That was what... Eleven months ago?" Pride's memory was flawless, and she just found herself nodding. She knew the day, remembered it because there were plenty of things that had happened then to make it memorable.

"Yeah. I broke up with Sam because he and I..." She had slept with James, and had realised that while Sam was the perfect boyfriend in many ways, he wasn't perfect for her. James was the perfect partner for her, and he always had been. She'd learnt that then.

"You were together. I remember that." He filled it in, and Brody felt the blush rise in her cheeks again. She felt terrible about that, even all these months on. She just stopped talking, stroking James' hair as her face began to sting from the tears, but she didn't even reach up to wipe them away.

"How did he survive reporting in Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya and Syria..." She ticked off the places she'd known he worked. There were probably other dangerous places where he'd reported that she couldn't even think about. He hadn't died on any of them though. He'd died here, in her adopted city. "Only to be killed reporting in New Orleans?"

"I've asked for NOPD to keep us notified. I explained the situation." That was one o the kindest things anyone had done for her in a while, and she just ended up looking at him and realising that ever again was James going to come back into her life. The case they were being kept up to date on was his.

She suddenly wished that James could come and wrap her up, let her cry into his chest as he told her that everything would be OK, and she was strong enough to get through it. "You know, he used to wrap me up in his arms after a rough case and just tell me that everything was OK." She had always loved those, and they had helped make their job feel a little easier to deal with some days. "Then after Emily died, even though we'd broken up, he let me call him and cry on the phone all night long. Just because he didn't want me to be sad alone."

"He doesn't sound like that much of an asshole." That silent comment reminded her of that, and she had to admit that he was definitely an asshole. A lot o the time to a lot of people. He never had been to her. Even on his worst days, he'd always apologised, normally before he did anything.

"He was, or he could be, to other people. He never was to me." She reached out and stroked his hair again, wishing that nothing like this had happened. Wishing that he was just out at work. He was always a perfect gentleman to her. "He always thought I wanted him to change, but I didn't."

"I wish I could have met him properly." Was the only response, and she couldn't quite believe that. But there was a truth to the matter that they would have probably gotten along famously. LaSalle would have annoyed James, but he would have liked Pride, and the two men would have been like two peas in a pod.

"You'd have been a pair. You two are more alike than I want to admit." She realised what she'd said, and the tears started anew. They weren't alike. They were alike. James was gone now, and she needed to say goodbye. But she wasn't ready for that. She wanted to sit here and pretend nothing bad had happened. "Or you were."

"You're still not sad alone Merri." Pride's memory of what James had done for her after Emily's death, a tiny comment in among everything she'd said since he came in here, reminded him of exactly why they were alike.

"I miss him already King." She cried a little louder, finally letting the emotions get the better of her. She just couldn't process the fact that he was gone. That he wouldn't be coming home tonight..

Pride wrapped his arms around her from behind, clearly realising the struggle she had gone through to ever admit those words. She would miss James forever, the same as she would Emily. For the rest of her life and beyond, they would stay in her heart. "I hope you meet again, Merri, and I'm sure the two of you will."

"Thanks." She tried to sound truly thankful, but she was certain that it didn't work. She wanted to believe that somehow she and James could meet again, so she could speak to him one last time, but she couldn't bring herself to believe that. It would hurt too much if it wasn't real, and the likelihood was that it wasn't real. That though just brought her back to another question she couldn't answer. "Why him?"

"I wish I knew." He muttered, kissing her head again and she finally felt safe to break down. She had never expected this, she had always thought that James would be the one sitting in an autopsy room beside her body. She'd never truly thought about it the other way around. The fact that there was no rhyme or reason for it actually just made it harder to accept. First Emily, now James. Clearly the universe didn't want her to love, so she wouldn't, not again.

* * *

 _ **Though he left without a single word  
T'was better in the end  
There are no words to say goodbye  
I hope you'll meet again**_


End file.
